The Careless Shopper
by Nikki LLast Updated: 08/23/2006 |
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The story of a guy I dated who did everything to keep his online options open
So I met a guy named Mark on an online dating Website. He seems like a cool guy. We exchange a few messages, talk a few times on the phone, and then meet up in person about a week later.
After meeting Mark for a movie in real life I still like him. I think it was mostly that he was just so cool about the whole Internet dating thing. Other guys I had talked to were kindof holding back like myself, but with Mark it was just like, what is the hold up? It was just another thing. And I liked that. I guess I should have been more cautious about it!
Everything had gone perfectly since the first message he sent me. It was like we were completely on the same page. When I felt like I should hear from him, the phone rang. When I needed a little space, he backed off. Then about ten days after our first date, on one of those night I wanted to be on my own, I decided to check my profile at the online dating Website we had hooked up on. I look to see if any of my “favorites” are online, and who do I see but Mark!
At first I was a little choked! This was the first time I had visited the Website since we had met, and I figured he was staying away too. I logged off right away, hoping that he hadn’t noticed me! I don’t know why I was worried about this, but it was just my reaction. I thought about giving him an angry phone call, but then calmed myself down. I had kindof blown him off that night, and it’s not like we had made it too formal yet.
We meet up the next day and I wait for my opportunity to bring up the subject. “So last night I went back to the dating Website we met on,” I say, “I can’t believe we were both on there so recently!” Mark seems taken back briefly, but quickly recovers and replies in an accusatory but sarcastic voice, “What were you doing on there?” He then smiles and quickly says, “did you see me on there? I was on there last night too showing it to one of my buddies!” We laugh, I feel relieved inside, and we move on to another topic.
After about three weeks things are still going good with Mark and myself. At this point I had practically forgotten about how we had met, and smiled to myself when I remembered the first messages we had exchanged online. I was bored, and by the computer, so I decided to log into the Website for the second time since I had met Mark. Low and behold, when I look to see who is online, there is a new picture of Mark staring right back at me!
This time I call him. Once again Mark claims he is doing it for his buddy Steve. I can hardly even remember what the excuse was exactly, but I could tell from how he was talking that it was a lie. I tell him I don’t care if Steve needs it and to take it off. He caves rather easily, and after I hang up and check the Website again his profile is already gone.
Mark was good at apologizing, whether he was late or said something that I didn’t like, he could always make it better in a hurry. For this it was no different, and it was only a day or two before he had my complete trust back.
Luckily for me I was visiting an old girlfriend on a Tuesday night about a week later. Our conversation went to dating, and then to online dating. We both laughed when we found out we were both doing it, but on different Websites. I asked her to show me her profile so I could see how this online dating Website was different from the one I had used. She agreed and we headed to her computer to check it out. You know where this is going. Who has sent her a message within the last week? Yep, Mr. Mark.
I’m stunned. I thought things were going so well but he was clearly still out there trying to find someone else. Mark wasn’t the kind of guy I could confront very well, so I sent him a bit of a nasty email and ignored his calls until they stopped. I wanted to give him another chance, but there is just no way I could ever trust him again. I don’t have time to check through every online dating Website every week to make sure Mark is staying clear.
I guess I took myself off of the market. |
